This is not the first time I have tackled judgment. I wrote about it in my first children’s book called Princess Aisha and the Cave of Judgment. In the book the reader is taken on an incredible sometimes-dangerous journey as Aisha, guided by her parents teaching, seeks to find the truth without passing judgment.
Judgment! What is it anyway; what does it mean? Merriam-Webster shares multiple definitions. One definition of judgment is the process of forming an opinion or evaluation by discerning and comparing. The problem with definitions is you have to look up the words that define the word, discerning and comparing, to fully understand what the word really means. So I am going to create my own definition based on simple words that I can understand. Judgment is making a decision about a person, place or thing based on a set of facts. Here’s the difficulty with facts. Who gathered the facts; are they facts or are they “alternative facts”? Facts are truths that actually happened; they are real, not made up. Unfortunately truth is relative changing as more facts become available.
Whew! I started this blog because I wanted to discuss the importance of judging and it’s impact on our selection of our perfect partner. Judging without the benefit of looking at the totality of a person or a situation so often leads to missed opportunities. And I think this is why so many people are lonely and not fully understanding why there is no one in their life they can call their own. They judge people on a set of criteria that has nothing to do with what will make them happy but rather on what they think is important based on other people’s opinion, may I add, other people who are also lonely. Oh my, where does this leave us when we are judging people who might want to be in our life?
The list of criteria that we are using may not be the right list. Look at it again to determine if it is what you are really looking for in a partner. Better yet, look at it to determine if YOU meet all of the criteria on your list. I discuss in my book Winter’s Love how very important it is for each of us to examine ourselves. In other words, are you everything that (s)he wants? Don’t judge until you have all of the facts! Stick around long enough to get past the exterior of a person and into their interior self revealing who they really are. Slow down, you might miss out on a real gem if you judge to quickly.